sâmbătă, 12 decembrie 2009

As vrea..Voi fi...(din nou)

As vrea sa ma pot face inteles,sa pot face ceva ca totul...totul sa fie altfel...sa nu ma mai doara tot ceea ce vad in jur,ce simt..As vrea sa am puterea sa schimb ceva in ...toate astea ....sa uit...sa ...inchid ochii si ... sa nu mai simt nimic...sa nu mai aud nimic..sa nu mai existe nici un gind ....moarte....hmmm ce simplu ar fi totul.Totusi sint doar negativ in acest moment si simt ca ma prabusesc... si stiu ca doar ..... voi cade din ce in ce mai mult ...Ma intreboare de ce sint aici in lumea asta ...ma pierd....Ultima oara cind m-am pierdut a fost....destul de rau.....si in momente ca asta as vrea sa nu ma fi intors....poate defapt eu sint cel ce greseste...Am ascuns in suflet totul.Martori ai sufletului meu sint doar trei persoane si in parte acest blog.Am purtat o masca de normalitate chiar daca ochi mei au au secat...chiar daca sufletul meu ....Am incercat sa fac orice pentru a fi bine..Pe plan familial totul a iesit pe dos si chiar mai rau ... in rest nici acolo nu e nimic foarte bun...toate pentru ca sint ...cee sint...Poate am dat atentie prea mult la ceea ce simt,dar....e in mine nu pot ignora...In clipe ca asta imi aduc doar aminte de...frinturi de poveste...clipe ..imagini ce le voi purta in mine pina la capat....oricare ar fi el. Voi incerca sa ..trec...sa ma ridic...sa privesc ininte...Pentru cit timp oare?Voi fi aici pina cind sufletul meu va mai putea sa suporte toate aste.Voi fi aici asteptind...strigind...dar strigatul nu are nici macar ecou....nu mai am voce..putere sa strig....Voi fi aici...o floare intr-un pustiu...


Saturday, December 12, 2009
I wish .. I'll be ... (again)

I wish to explain my self,to do anything about everything ... everything to go different ... to not hurt me anymore all wat i see around and I feel .. I wish I had the power to cange someting in ... all this ....to forget ... to ... close my eyes and ... to not feel anything ...to not hear anything ...without thoughts ...death .... Hmmm .... how simple can be everyting.I'm only negative at this point and feel that I collapse ... and I know only ..... will fall increasingly more ... I wonder why i live in this world ... I lose my self.... the last time when I lost my self was bad enough .... ..... in moments like this I wish to not come back .... I maybe be the one that fails ... I hid deep in my soul everyting.Witnesses are only three people in this and part this blog.I wear a mask of normality even if my eyes have dried up ... even if my soul .... I tried to do anything to be all good .. On the family all came out backwards and even worse ... in rest there is nothing either good ... all because i am like ... i am ... Maybe I gave too much attention to what I feel, but .... it can not ignore me ... In moments like this make me remember ... just scrap of the story ... .. image moments that I will carry with me to the end .... whatever he is. I will try to .. go ... get up ... to look look forward ... For how long? I'll be here until my soul will fall .I will be here waiting ... crying. .. but not even an echo to my cry .... I do not have voice to shout .. power .... I'll be here ... a flower in a desert ...

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